Sunday, May 8, 2011

Funny Pet Quotes

Funny Pet Quotes

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbet

I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward. - G. K. Chesterton

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate. - Sigmund Freud

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Anne Landers

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker. - Buddha

I've met many thinkers and many cats, but the wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. - Hippolyte Taine

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Anonymous

The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet

Love the animals: God has given them the rudiments of thought and joy untroubled. - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Every boy should have two things: a dog, and a mother willing to let him have one. - Anonymous

And God took a handful of Southerly wind, blew His breath over it and created the horse. - Bedouin Legend

The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp. - John Berry

A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg. - Samuel Butler

If I have any beliefs about immortality it is that certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very – very - few people. - James Thurber

The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him. - Rudyard Kipling

The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Mahatma Gandhi

The dog was created especially for children. He is the God of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

There is nothing in which the birds differ more from man than the way in which they can build and yet leave a landscape as it was before. - Robert Lynd

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that! - Dave Barry

All of the animals except for man know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it. - Samuel Butler

A Horse! A Horse! My kingdom for a horse! - Shakespeare

A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart and wins with his character. - Tesio

To err is human, to purr, feline. - Robert Byrne

To err is human, to forgive, canine. - Anonymous

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me. - Anonymous

A dog maybe a man's best friend but a horse made history. - Anonymous

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams

I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and self-contained. I stand and look at them long and long. - Walt Whitman

If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. - James Herriot

I love cats because I enjoy my home; and, little by little, they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau

A house is not a home without a pet. - Anonymous

In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

Dogs have owners; cats have staff. - Anonymous

A canter is the cure for all evil. - Benjamin Disraeli on horses

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. - Anatole France

A dog is the only thing on earth that will love you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings

You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Who can believe that there is no soul behind those luminous eyes! - Theophile Gautier

The purity of a person's heart can be quickly measured by how they regard animals. - Anonymous

We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals. - Immanual Kant

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

If all the beasts were gone, men would die from a great loneliness of spirit, for whatever happens to the beasts also happens to the man. All things are connected. Whatever befalls the Earth befalls the sons of the Earth. - Chief Seattle of the Suquamish Tribe, letter to President Franklin Pierce

There is in all animals a sense of duty that man condescends to call instinct. - Robert Brault

To insult someone we call him "bestial." For deliberate cruelty and nature, "human" might be the greater insult. - Isaac Asimov, Isaac Asimov's Book of Science and Nature Quotations, 1988

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me. - Mark Twain, Letters from the Earth, 1907

Be it human or animal, touch is a life-giving thing. Has anyone ever had a stroke or a heart attack while cozied up with a pet? I doubt it. - Robert Brault

I believe in animal rights, and high among them is the right to the gentle stroke of a human hand. - Robert Brault

Most pets display so many human-like traits and emotions it's easy to forget they're not gifted with the English language and then get snubbed when we talk to them and they don't say anything back. - Stephenie Geist

Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet. - Colette

It often happens that a man is more humanely related to a cat or dog than to any human being. - Henry David Thoreau

Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills. - Voltaire, letter to Count Schomberg, 31 August 1769

The kind man feeds his beast before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

Lots of people talk to animals.... Not very many listen, though.... That's the problem. - Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh

Man is rated the highest animal, at least among all animals who returned the questionnaire. - Robert Brault

It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons. - Douglas Adams, The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets. - Nora Ephron

Animals are such agreeable friends. They ask no questions; they pass no criticisms. - George Eliot

Ever consider what pets must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! - Anne Tyler, The Accidental Tourist

No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation. - Fran Lebowitz, writer

Cat Law of Selective Hearing "A cat can hear a mouse yawning a mile away, while filtering out the sound of a pleading human just six feet away. - Anonymous

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. - Anonymous

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. - Wesley Bates

Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. - Joseph Wood Krutch

A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution. - Hazel Nicholson

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. - Anonymous

You know your cat is getting old when she quits hunting in the back yard. Now she hunts at your dinner table. - Denny Lyon, journalist blogger

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

He doesn’t reckon his dog has human feelings, but he sure lets you know when you hurt his instincts. - Robert Brault

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog. - Ambrose Bierce

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as a dog does. - Christopher Morley

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - President Harry S. Truman

A dog is not intelligent. Never trust an animal that's surprised by its own farts. - Frank Skinner

The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs. Jeanne-Marie Roland

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone. - Lenny Bruce

Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own one. - W. C. Fields

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