Funny Pet Quotes
When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbet
I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward. - G. K. Chesterton
Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate. - Sigmund Freud
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Anne Landers
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain
Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain
A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker. - Buddha
I've met many thinkers and many cats, but the wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. - Hippolyte Taine
A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Anonymous
The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet
Love the animals: God has given them the rudiments of thought and joy untroubled. - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Every boy should have two things: a dog, and a mother willing to let him have one. - Anonymous
And God took a handful of Southerly wind, blew His breath over it and created the horse. - Bedouin Legend
The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp. - John Berry
A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg. - Samuel Butler
If I have any beliefs about immortality it is that certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very – very - few people. - James Thurber
The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him. - Rudyard Kipling
The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Mahatma Gandhi
The dog was created especially for children. He is the God of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher
There is nothing in which the birds differ more from man than the way in which they can build and yet leave a landscape as it was before. - Robert Lynd
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that! - Dave Barry
All of the animals except for man know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it. - Samuel Butler
A Horse! A Horse! My kingdom for a horse! - Shakespeare
A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart and wins with his character. - Tesio
To err is human, to purr, feline. - Robert Byrne
To err is human, to forgive, canine. - Anonymous
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy
No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me. - Anonymous
A dog maybe a man's best friend but a horse made history. - Anonymous
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams
I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and self-contained. I stand and look at them long and long. - Walt Whitman
If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. - James Herriot
I love cats because I enjoy my home; and, little by little, they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau
A house is not a home without a pet. - Anonymous
In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
Dogs have owners; cats have staff. - Anonymous
A canter is the cure for all evil. - Benjamin Disraeli on horses
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores
Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. - Anatole France
A dog is the only thing on earth that will love you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings
You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Who can believe that there is no soul behind those luminous eyes! - Theophile Gautier
The purity of a person's heart can be quickly measured by how they regard animals. - Anonymous
We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals. - Immanual Kant
An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber
If all the beasts were gone, men would die from a great loneliness of spirit, for whatever happens to the beasts also happens to the man. All things are connected. Whatever befalls the Earth befalls the sons of the Earth. - Chief Seattle of the Suquamish Tribe, letter to President Franklin Pierce
There is in all animals a sense of duty that man condescends to call instinct. - Robert Brault
To insult someone we call him "bestial." For deliberate cruelty and nature, "human" might be the greater insult. - Isaac Asimov, Isaac Asimov's Book of Science and Nature Quotations, 1988
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill
I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me. - Mark Twain, Letters from the Earth, 1907
Be it human or animal, touch is a life-giving thing. Has anyone ever had a stroke or a heart attack while cozied up with a pet? I doubt it. - Robert Brault
I believe in animal rights, and high among them is the right to the gentle stroke of a human hand. - Robert Brault
Most pets display so many human-like traits and emotions it's easy to forget they're not gifted with the English language and then get snubbed when we talk to them and they don't say anything back. - Stephenie Geist
Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet. - Colette
It often happens that a man is more humanely related to a cat or dog than to any human being. - Henry David Thoreau
Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills. - Voltaire, letter to Count Schomberg, 31 August 1769
The kind man feeds his beast before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb
Lots of people talk to animals.... Not very many listen, though.... That's the problem. - Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh
Man is rated the highest animal, at least among all animals who returned the questionnaire. - Robert Brault
It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons. - Douglas Adams, The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy
An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber
You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets. - Nora Ephron
Animals are such agreeable friends. They ask no questions; they pass no criticisms. - George Eliot
Ever consider what pets must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! - Anne Tyler, The Accidental Tourist
No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation. - Fran Lebowitz, writer
Cat Law of Selective Hearing "A cat can hear a mouse yawning a mile away, while filtering out the sound of a pleading human just six feet away. - Anonymous
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. - Anonymous
There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. - Wesley Bates
Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. - Joseph Wood Krutch
A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution. - Hazel Nicholson
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. - Anonymous
You know your cat is getting old when she quits hunting in the back yard. Now she hunts at your dinner table. - Denny Lyon, journalist blogger
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry
My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton
He doesn’t reckon his dog has human feelings, but he sure lets you know when you hurt his instincts. - Robert Brault
The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog. - Ambrose Bierce
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras
No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as a dog does. - Christopher Morley
If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - President Harry S. Truman
A dog is not intelligent. Never trust an animal that's surprised by its own farts. - Frank Skinner
The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs. Jeanne-Marie Roland
Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone. - Lenny Bruce
Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own one. - W. C. Fields
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